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Depression is common: Almost 16 million Americans deal with it every year. But for those who have it, explaining their feelings can be hard.

It can affect different people in different ways. “It doesn’t always look like what you hear about or see on TV,” says Crystal Clancy, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Burnsville, MN. Clancy had postpartum depression(PPD) after having her second child in 2005, and now she counsels people with PPD and other forms of depression.

People with depression may not want to share what they feel. But learning more about depression can help you help someone who has it. Here are seven things that people with depression wish you knew.